Citation: Robert Mapplethorpe photograph of Louise Bourgeois, 1982, holding her sculpture "Fillette".

"I was afraid not to measure up". Taken out of context from Louise Bourgeois's MacDowell Medal Acceptance speech in 1990.

When flipping through a book, I saw Robert Mapplethorpe's photograph of Louise Bourgeois in her fuzzy coat holding her sculpture Fillette. I did a drawing referring to the photograph on the day of her death, although I did not know that at the time.

Upon receiving the MacDowell Medal, Louise (speaking about motherhood/family- which she warned me about) said "I was afraid not to measure up". I too am afraid. Afraid I will die before creating my masterpiece, afraid noone will see it or remember it. Afraid to fail to get my own images down; they are too often transmuted.

I was feeling very connected to Louise and grateful to have some of her artwork that day, the day she died. She gave me a gift when I left New York, because she thought I was making a mistake. I was fortunate to work on her prints at Harlan and Weaver Intaglio.

Fuzzy coat
To take up the Mantle

I too have a fuzzy coat, which is fake and from Ann Taylor. The coat reminds me of my grandmother and makes me feel so French. I drew my own fuzzy coat from observation to understand the form and experiment with textural marks. This fuzzy coat embodies the idea of taking up the mantle.

Fuzzy coat on table easel

The albatross around my neck is wrapped like a mantle. It hangs around my invisible body. I am trying to take up the mantle.

From the 40 self-portraits project